My (Husband’s) Horrible Fried Rice – Voila Madame Monsieur!

Houseman's Fried Rice

Last December, while I was away in Dresden, my significant other decided, finally, to cook dinner for himself, a meal that involves neither maggi mees nor just the microwave alone. However, instead of jumping straight into the details of the recipe, let me start off from the last part of my entry:

Disclaimers first:

  • The title of this recipe was conjured by the chef himself; it wasn’t a passing of judgement by any cruel critic.
  • Every step and ingredient stated here was carefully and painstakingly thought out by the chef himself. Amusingly, he typed out and sent me this recipe which, intentionally or not, evoked my thoughts of home-cooked food. 😐


  • Cooked rice: 1 serving
  • Dark soy sauce: 1 tbsp
  • Cooking oil: 1 tbsp

Optional ingredients:

  • Mince meat: 50g, marinated with cornstarch, sesame oil and Teochew fish sauce
  • Chinese waxed sausage: 1, sliced
  • Dried chinese mushroom: 2, boiled in hot water till softened, cut into strips
  • Lao gan ma chilli sauce: 2 tsp
  • Preserved olive vegetable: 1 tsp
  • Spicy black bean paste: 1 tsp
  • Egg: 1, beaten


  1. Add oil into work and heat it up.
  2. Add rice and fry it for a short while until it is all heated up.
  3. Add mince meat, sausage and mushrooms, stir in with the rice and fry until they are all cooked.
  4. Add the egg. The tricky part is to let the egg stick onto all the rice grains. Here’s the trick. Flatten all the rice in the wok until it covers all the surface of the wok. Pour the egg all over the rice. Due to the flattened rice, the egg will flow down to the work below. And because the rice is already hot, the egg will be cooked quickly and stick to the rice.
  5. Stir fry everything. Add the rest of the sauces.


  • The rice must be “old”, so people will normally leave it overnight in the fridge. But since I cooked the rice in the microwave oven, I just cooked it a little longer than usual so that it becomes drier.

Fiery rating:
👿 👿 👿 👿 (Scrutinize the foreground to get what I mean.)

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