Christmas Is Here! *Pause* What Have I Done This Year?

Solar Eclipse: Courtesy from the guy

Or Perhaps, a better question to ask myself would be: ‘What have I accomplished this year?’

Somehow, Christmas is a good time for me, every year without fail, to take a step back and reflect on what I have done in the whole of the year gone by. Every year, I ask myself the same questions: Have I done enough? Is this what I’d like to continue with? What’s up for next year?

Apparently, this year has been quite a crazy year for me. I’m not sure if that counts as an accomplishment itself, but I’ve done something I wouldn’t even dare think about doing 1 year ago – pack up and go. Of course, the motivation for so doing was strong enough: I wasn’t pleased with the status quo of teaching; I wanted to go overseas and experience life. And so, if not now, when else?

I’m not young anymore. Really.

Come to think of it, I’m really lucky to have siblings at home. I appreciate the fact that my parents gave birth to 2 lovely brothers who have no qualms about me going overseas to pursue my dreams. I don’t have to worry about my parents feeling lonely because the 2 young ones are there to occupy their time. It helps to keep me going – I keep reminding myself that I’ve better enjoy this one year I have, at the grace of everyone else, because such a chance wouldn’t come twice.

So now, I’m here in Durham, and like magic, the first term is long gone. I’ve been to some interesting places with the guy, recently travelled to Edinburgh, found out interesting ways the English pronounce some words and continued with my food blog. I’ve done some new things and retained some old habits; I’ve gained knowledge from the course and retained enough from my old trade to ensure survival. All in all, I’m really enjoying myself here, especially because I’m learning something new everyday. I wish I could keep on learning until the day I die.

But something seems to be missing still, and I think I came to realise what it was only when I started reflecting on things a few weeks ago. The feeling keeps growing, and I think the culprit is homesickness. I’m not just shocked; I’m daunted by the thought.

It must be true then. People change their priorities once they’ve accomplished something meaningful and significant. They keep on moving from one goal to another, like a never-ending game of monopoly. I’m just not convinced yet about how much I really want to accomplish that goal. Do I even want to go that way?

Damn. Life is so full of dilemma. Somebody teach me how to resolve it. *No one answers*

Well, the picture here tells me that there’s at least one thing I’ve accomplished here in Durham – I caught half the act of  a solar eclipse. I’ve never had a chance to do so back in Singapore, for strange enough reasons – we’re always either asleep in the wee hours of the morning, or the eclipse has to happen in the daylight. Just this Tuesday morning, before we started on our trip to Edinburgh, we had some time to steal a few pictures of the moon before it dissolved into nothingness.

Maybe it’s time for a change. Perhaps I should ask myself how much lesser I should be doing next year. Let’s take things easy and not be so harsh on myself anymore. 😉